Thursday, February 10, 2011

Long Day

Hey Ladies,

First, thank you so much for all the words of support and well wishes.  I can't tell you how much I appreciated reading them all.

It's been a very long, emotional day, and I will probably save most of my report to tomorrow, when I have my head on a little straighter.

The Highlights:
1) New RE - awesome...loved him.  I will call him Dr. Fox as he is actually quite foxy on top of being a great doctor.  The man spent over an hour with me answering all my questions, gave me tissues to wipe my tears and told me that when it comes to whatever treatment we decide to pursue, I'm "the boss" (his words). 

2) DH and I are trying to decide what will be the best treatment plan for us (and what we can afford), and right now we are just too overwhelmed, confused and bewildered to make a decision; maybe some sleep and a look through our finances will make the picture a little clearer.

3) The nurses (Ms. T and Ms. D) in the office - lovely.  I can't say enough good things about this place really, and the drive really wasn't so terrible outside of the usual Chicago traffic.  This was just what I was hoping for.

4) We are leaning heavily in the direction of IVF.  I am freaked out just having written that sentence.  I never thought it would come to IVF, and somehow something about that statement seems very real and very final.  Soon I will have to face the question: if this doesn't work, then what?  For now, I'm just going to try and make peace with the possibility that I could be the mother of multiples, and that for us that would actually be a wonderful, blessed thing.

I know it sounds awful, but I never thought of myself as the mother of multiples and the idea terrifies me.  I also know, however, that if I actually do became pregnant with and deliver two healthy babies, I will never question our decision to do this.  I will do what I always do: I will read every book on twins there is, research parenting multiples till my eyelids are drooping and my husband is yelling at me to turn out the light and go to bed, buy the best, fastest breast pump on the market (certified by Consumer Reports), and most importantly I will stop fearing that there is not enough of me to go around and I will just love those two blessings with every ounce of my being. 


  1. I love this last part of your blog! You are going to be an awesome mom, whether it be to 1,2 or 3 kiddos ;) The first appointment is so overwhelming, I hope that you get some good rest and feel better in the morning! :)

  2. The first appointment really is so overwhelming, especially when IVF comes into play. I promise that IVF isn't the end of the world, however, it does put a whole new meaning to "two week wait", and "emotional roller coaster", but at least in our case, it was our best chances. Keep in mind that the first round they are learning alot about you, so no worries if it doesn't work, they'll know what to tweak for the second go around. And, just because you put two embryos back doesn't mean two babies, it could mean none, one or even 3! You'll be a great mom, it sounds like you've got it all in the back of your mind already!!!

  3. We are at the same place right now. Trying to figure out if IVF makes sense. Financially it will kill us, but people make it work right?
    We are content with doing some more testing for the moment (egg reserve)and continuing our semi-break. Whatever happens we have each other right?!


  4. Yay! I'm glad that this new RE seems to be great :D
    You are going to do amazing with however many children you end up having (or having at once :D).

  5. I just saw your reply about the clinic. We go to the same clinic, and so far have been very happy with them! Is there an email id I can contact you at? I'd rather email you than type in a long mssg here! Else mail me at keyagal(at)

  6. I totally hear you on the multiples thing. I'm in the same spot as you and I feel like the only infertile who doesn't really want multiples. I'm sure I'd be very happy once I had them, but I know how hard it is too.