I made a rookie mistake this morning, and checked my neglected Facebook account. I thought it would be reasonably safe...silly me. The last time I signed on, I read that a high school mate who was married this past summer is already in her third trimester. I sulked but took it in my stride. Today, after signing on just for the briefest of moment, I read not one, but two pregnancy announcements from two other ladies married just this past summer and fall.
I asked myself if I'm happy for them...the pitiful answer that came back was a rather bitter sounding "no". The truth is, I don't know how to be happy for them. It should have been my turn next. I put in the time, the emotional and physical capital; so, where's my baby?
Where was their blood, sweat and tears for their baby: their fear, pain, frustration, humiliation, marital pressure and grief? How come they just get to be parents?
Boy, am I a bitter b*&^h sometimes...ugh , need to get out of the office and soak up some Vitamin D.
I asked myself if I'm happy for them...the pitiful answer that came back was a rather bitter sounding "no". The truth is, I don't know how to be happy for them. It should have been my turn next. I put in the time, the emotional and physical capital; so, where's my baby?
Where was their blood, sweat and tears for their baby: their fear, pain, frustration, humiliation, marital pressure and grief? How come they just get to be parents?
Boy, am I a bitter b*&^h sometimes...ugh , need to get out of the office and soak up some Vitamin D.
Aw man, that sucks! You are so not a bitter b word! It's really hard!! Hugs! Your turn is coming!
ReplyDeleteWe all feel that way somtimes. It really isn't fair that everyone else can get knocked up and breeze through 9 months like it's nothing.
ReplyDeleteI think having a baby shouldn't be easy for ANYONE. That way we would only have the people who really want to have a family getting pregnant and people would be much more grateful.
You are allowed to feel screwed over sometimes. I know I do. Just don't let it stick with you for too long.
FB is the worst for this! I come from literally the most fertile place (ladies that are peri-menopausal, endro, fibroids, PCOS, don't like sex, etc.) seem to get preggers at the drop of a hat. Then they tell me to relax......
ReplyDeleteDH has to get his hormones looked at as he went from a SA of abnormal, then immotile but millions to 10. Does that get posted on FB?
BLERG!
<3 the blog BTW! <3 <3 <3
I am right there with you girl.
ReplyDeleteI've been finding myself getting pissed at fertiles that can actually plan when they want to have their babies. Or just fertiles who think trying for 3 months is enough to complain about. I just want to shake them until their heads pop off or until they can feel how frustrating and heartbreaking IF is.
I deleted my facebook account. Best thing I ever did!
ReplyDelete