Thursday, March 3, 2011

Lupron, Resolve & and My Fluttery Heart

Last night was an evening of firsts for this IFer...

1st self-given shot!
1st fertility injection
1st shot of Lurpon (let the IVF cycle begin).  My hands were shaking, and I almost called in the husband for back up support, but then, just like that, I jabbed it in and it was over.  It actually didn't hurt, which was a relief, and there was no blood to clean up, or any great to do.

I thought at first that I'd avoided the side effects, that was until I went to get into bed and realized my heart was fluttering like a hummingbird, and my head felt like it might explode.  I tried meditation, movie watching, etc., but I just could not fall asleep.  I finally succumbed to half a Xanax, some Tylenol, and a promise to myself that I would do the shot earlier in the evening the next night and hope for a better outcome. 

The rest of my medication arrived yesterday, and I kid you not when I say I almost fainted when I opened the box.  Here is the pile o' meds and syringes that greeted me, minus the Lurpon which was already in the fridge:

The best part was, of course, the free gift of Love and Infertility - thanks Village Pharmacy for assuming my marriage must be falling to pieces around our infertility.  
*actually, an amusing side note.  I had just listened to a Creating a Family podcast with Kristen Magnacca earlier in the day, and was kind of shocked when her book turned up among my fertility medications.

After recovering from the shock of all these meds, I of course decided I needed a photo (for posterity - look kids, this is how you started out), and just to remind myself where all our money has gone.

DH came home a little while later, and surprised me with these:
Mind you, my hubby hates "wasting money" on flowers "that are going to die in a day", so the fact that he brought these home for his half-crazed, anxiety-ridden wife, who absolutely loves flowers in all shapes and sizes, was pretty darn special and the perfect thing to lift my spirits. 

1st Resolve Meeting
This was a pretty special event for me.  I truly enjoyed meeting so many people who really not only understand what I am going through, but who "speak my language".  We talked of everything from IVF protocols, to the emotions of miscarriage, the loss of friends, fears about the future, etc. and we joked and laughed together for a good 3 hours.  I could not have been happier that I went, and I just want to thank them all (though I think only one of you ladies might actually see this - "hi G") for giving me such a great experience.

If you haven't been to one of these meetings yet, and there is one in your area, check it out.  You will feel better for it.    

Happy Thursday everyone!


  1. Good job on your first round of injections! It will get easier. I'm sorry you had a bad reaction! That is so sweet about the flowers - aww! And I'm glad you had a nice time at the Resolve meeting. I think I want to go to one, but I'm nervous about it.

  2. No wonder you could not fall asleep last night! You deserve an extra hug for all those firsts yesterday. Best of luck for the rest of your cycle.

  3. Oh my! It makes MY heart feel fluttery just looking at all those meds! At the same time though, I'm looking forward to getting my box in the mail!

    Wish I lived closer to I could go to your Resolve meetings... glad that you enjoyed it!

  4. Wow, what a big day! I wish we had Resolve in Canada so some kind of equivalent...

  5. oh geez! I have seen those IVF packages before (in pics) and it would freak me out too!
    You are a champ and it sounds like you did a great job with that first shot.
    And the sweet!

    I'll check out Resolve. I would be interested in going.
    Miss C

  6. Wow, look at all those meds. It's gonna be totally worth it though if it works. FXFXFXFXFX

  7. Hey there, just saw your comment about the follistim pen. Don't worry! This is my third cycle using it, and this is the first time in about 20 injections that it hasn't gone exactly the way we thought it should. It really is quite easy to use, and the needles are so teeny you can barely feel it. Often, I'm like, really? It's in there? I will tell you though, I've only injected myself twice. My husband usually does it. I have found that it is easiest in my thigh. I hold the pen in one hand, and press in the plunger with the other. I imagined doing it with one hand, and pressing the plunger with my thumb like the way you click a ball point pen, but I find the plunger a little stiff for that. Good luck with the rest of your injections.

    Also, so glad to hear that you liked Resolve. And, I saw your comment on Yolk about moving this Boston right? I'm here, so if you're stuck at home pregnant with nothing to do, maybe we can meet up sometime.

    OK, back to work!

  8. yay! nice work on the injection! i get dizzy just looking at all those meds, but you seem to be handling it like a pro. How sweet of your husband to bring you flowers, awww!
    I'm so glad you came to resolve and that we had a chance to meet. it's always comforting to see that infertility is indiscrimate and other people my age are fighting it too. there are women there who are so funny and easy to get along with that i know we could be friends in the real world and never even know the other was dealing with this, you know? i'm glad it was helpful for you and i hope you keep coming back. well, i hope you don't have to keep coming back, but you know what i mean...

  9. Wow - Check out all those meeds!!! I need to take my own photo to document our process too...

    You are a super rockstar for doing the injection yourself. I am pretty confident that I'll be relying on ML to handle that responsibility.

    Congrats on your first RESOVLE meeting. I felt so good after attending my first meeting. It was so overwhelming, but incredible to hear other women talk about their story. Reading and writing is great, but being in the same room and seeing their faces and hearing the way that their voice sounded, that my voice sounded, simply incredible. I had to travel a few hours to go to the closest meeting, and am now trying to start a local group. I so so so hope that it takes off.

    much love!

  10. Hey! Congrats on your first resolve meeting. There is one on Monday that I am contemplating going to, but I am so scared/nervous etc. I'm about to blog about it, maybe you can give some insight?
    Glad your first shot went well!! It took me 9 months of injectables before I was brave enough to do my own. GO YOU!!! Haha :)