Sorry for being kinda a bad blogger since my fertility report. I've had so much on my mind, but haven't been able to organize it into anything particularly readable.
I'm also sorry - especially to those of you out there who experienced truly disheartening post retrieval news this week - if I sounded at all ungrateful in my last post for our 9 fertilized embryos. I actually didn't realize that that was a really good number, and was more in shock over the high number of immature eggs we had and going from 18 to 9 overnight. It freaked me out, cause I realized we could lose the lot, or have only 1 or 2 that are actually viable and I just didn't think that would happen to us. Not with my 18 eggs at retrieval and such a promising start.
Now I know that 9 is actually a great number, and I'm just hoping and praying that Sunday we will find out that most if not all survived and thrived through the 5 days. I've been sending them love, but I'm still scared for Sunday's report.
I am thinking about my embryos A LOT, and worrying of course, about how many will survive till Sunday, what shape they will be in, how will they be graded, if we will have enough good quality ones to freeze some, etc. I'm also in increasing amounts of discomfort, with my abdomen so bloated and distended that I feel like my skin is being stretched and my organs are going to explode. I talked to my doc's office today, and they assured me that these symptoms are common after retrieval, but to let them know if they get worse. The weird thing is, I'm having trouble determining "worse" as I tend to feel better in the mornings, but the nights are horrible.
DH has turned out to be a whiz kid with the PIO shots, which is a huge relief. My butt is growing increasingly sore each day, but I hardly feel the giant-ass needle when he does it, and he's been a doll about massaging the area for a good 2 minutes afterward. The positive note in all this - my boobs look great! Thanks progesterone.
I keep reminding myself that this will all be worth it when I have my own beautiful BFP and 9 months later, my take home baby, but sometimes that is hard to keep in the back of your mind when right now you can hardly breath cause your trunk is so painfully bloated and going to the bathroom has become a "challenge" (sorry if TMI).
Should I be worried that I can sometimes feel pain up to my shoulder when I take a deep breath?
Okay, really, enough whining now.
Happy Friday everyone!
Oh my gosh I just wrote you the LONGEST comment and it disappeared...
ReplyDeleteIt is really awesome to her that you are keeping such a positive loving outlook. I love it!
I am a little concerned that you are in so much discomfort though? Have you told your dr about the breathing pain? that sucks! I hope that it resolves really soon so that you are feeling better.
I also find it pretty incredible that from the 16 eggs i had retrieved that only four of them 'made it' - two in my belly and two frozen blastocycsts. Can you ask for an update about how they are growing? We got a report on day 3 that two had stopped growing and were being discarded. I initially had visions of a freezer full of frosties, but am really grateful for the 4 good ones that we got.
Take care of yourself!
and thanks also for the kind thoughtful comment you left me on my last post. I felt so much better just writing all that stuff down. And you are so right about there being a difference in the bonding process. I am just so super sensitive to it all considering our path. Thank you for listening..
Aw don't feel bad, hun! It's totally normal to worry! I didn't think you were sounding upset about the 9 babies at all. It IS disappointing when you don't end up with as many as you had hoped. I worried about mine so bad and thought none would make it, but they did! Even with my poor egg quality. I'm sorry you're feeling yucky and bloated. Be sure to drink water and gatorade. I'm praying for you!!! Grow babies!
ReplyDeleteI don't think you're whining. You sound totally uncomfy, which I hope goes away soon! I think it's weird how IF makes us feel like we can't complain about anything, or we'll seem ungrateful...when in reality it all sucks and we should be allowed to admit that because none of us chose to be infertile and we're all just doing what we have to do :) Sending love and miracle grow to your embryos too. I hope tomorrow brings great news! XO
ReplyDeleteIt's always great when the hubbs is good on the PIO! Mine is good at it as well, but I still get nervous everytime! And I totally hear you on the bloat. After my first fresh cycle, I was really bloated. I though I had been bloated before but the IVF bloat is a whole new level of expansion!! Hope you have a fantastic weekend, I'll be sending up lots of good vibes for your embabies!!
ReplyDeleteIt was a scary feeling today to wait on the embryo report. It was another hurdle to get through. But I truly believe a great report is coming your way. I wonder if you're experiencing mild OHSS which I've read is eased up by eating lots of protein and drinking gatorade or cytomax. I'm part of the "bathroom challenge club" too:[ Putting some benefiber type stuff in my water and trying to eat things that my body seems to digest easier. I am thinking about you and sending positive thoughts for a great transfer tomorrow! Excited for you!
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