"At every critical step in this process there is a bottomless pit of cold, dark fear that threatens to break into my consciousness at unpredictable moments. I quiet it. I stomp it down. It holds no profit for me, yet I know it lurks there, in the fabric of my hope and of my dreams.
Some part of me believes that if I do not acknowledge the possibility of failure, that it will not arrive. If I focus on my desired outcome, I will soon have a child in my arms. But, that is how I started this journey, with complete and utter belief in my pending success. Repeated failure serves only to ripen fear and undermine that optimism."
Reading her post brought back to my mind the terrible fear and dread of my own IVF journey. It is something I think each of us goes through when we venture down this road, but amazingly we do not shy away...how can we turn away from that hope, that beautiful dream, that this will be the key to bringing home our baby?
To all those ladies who are cycling right now or who will be in the future, I wish you comfort, strength and joy, and of course a perfect baby of your very own.
K
Hello! Thanks for dropping by my blog. At times I wish I had skipped my 9 IUIs and gone straight to IVF, then I wouldn't have known to be afraid!
ReplyDeleteYou're the second person today I've come across who had success on their first IVF cycle...this is exactly what I need to be reading :)
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
you haven't posted in a while and have to be close to or already in the 2nd tri. hope all is well.
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