Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Today is a strangely quiet day.  I'm 40 weeks, I've reached my baby's due date, and I guess that somehow made me think today would be different from yesterday or the day before.  I don't know what I expected, but somehow it seems like there should be a celebration, balloons, cake, maybe a parade....
Instead, I woke to a silent home, my husband already deep in his computer, and my cat ignoring me for the patch of warm sunshine on the floor near my bed.

I've been feeling rather hormonal, almost premenstrual, and endlessly frustrated by how patient everyone else around me is.  A chuckle, a laugh and a, "don't worry, she'll come when she's ready" comment...one more of those and I might rip the hair from my head and truly lose my mind. 

At the same time, today is the 2 month anniversary of a dear fellow blogger's loss of her 20 week gestation twins...a beautiful boy and girl, who never had the chance to make it to the point my own little one has.  It cuts into my heart like a knife to think of the pain and loss this family has endured...to think of going into labor with the knowledge that giving birth will mean death not life.  It is too horrible, too cruel, and I truly wish I had some magic spell to take away the pain and grief that they must feel today and everyday.

...As I said, it is strangely quiet for a such an important day. 

To my own baby girl  I love you more and more with every moment and every breath.  I am only so impatient because I worry, and because I long to see your face and hold your hand in mine.  You are a part of me, the most important part, now and forever. 


  1. You will meet her soon friend. She just wants to feel the warmth of your body for a little while longer.
    Thank you for thinking of me, even on this milestone of your own.


  2. Awww I love that last little part <3 I would give you some balloons, cake, and happy surprises if I knew you IRL :) Good luck!