Thursday, October 13, 2011

31 Weeks & New Beginnings

I am truly amazed to be 31 weeks and two days pregnant as of today.  My little girl will be here so soon, and in the meantime I am just enjoying the realization that I am happy.  I don't know why I've been so afraid of that word, "happy"...as if putting that word out there in the world could cause everything to crash down around me.

I want to let go of this fear, I need to.  It isn't fair to myself or my baby to be always waiting for the "other shoe to drop".  Why do it?  Is it so that when something painful happens you can stand on the side and say, "I knew this would happen, it was only a matter of time"?  The craziest part of that is that you aren't actually protecting yourself from potential future pain, but you are missing out on enjoying the present moment...and I intend to continue experiencing every single moment of this pregnancy and this life.

Things are definitely getting tighter in my tummy, sleep is becoming more elusive, and back-pain and heartburn are now my constant companions, but it is all part of the is wondrous thing that is happening in body and I love that.  Every day brings me closer to meeting my daughter - MY DAUGHTER - and that is still so surreal and special and miraculous that I get teary just thinking about it. 

To my baby girl - I love you more than you can possibly imagine.  You are the greatest gift, and there are simply are not enough words, in English or any known language, to express the joy in my heart or the strength of my love for you.  Thank you for coming to us, for being a part of our lives, and for restoring a part of me that I thought was gone forever.

Last week's bump photo:



6 comments:

  1. congrats! I know exactly how you feel. I'm 25 weeks today (after 4 years of infertility) and I feel like all I do is walk on egg shells and hold my breath. I'm really trying to enjoy the experience but it's so hard.

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  2. Looking great! So excited for you to meet your daughter!

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  3. I don't know that the fear will go away (for me) until I'm holding our little guy! You look great... yay for the home stretch!!!

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  4. Awwwwww *cry* That was a wonderful post! I'm so happy for you. Your baby girl is a lucky lil one. And you look beautiful!!

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