Wowza!

I have been exceedingly blessed in the last week to receive three blog awards (2 I <3 This Blog awards, and 1 Styligh Blogger Award).  I find this pretty amazing, and just plain uber awesome, so to Me and You, Just us - Two, LisaB over at the Pursuit of Pregnancy, and Jen at The Chronicles of Violetta Margharita, thank you so much!

So, here's what I am supposed to do:
1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award (check)
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Award some other bloggers that are deserving
4. Contact those bloggers and let them know about the award

7 things, hmm...

1) I have a passion for all things dairy, and have been known to venture out in arctic winds and sub-freezing temperatures just to get an ice cream cone.

2) My favorite dairy product is goat cheese, and I am a firm believer that adding goat cheese to any dish really does make it better.

3) I've ridden on two very different but equally obliging elephants, and they are probably my favorite creatures on Earth (please don't tell my cat I said that).  

4) I love the sound of my cat purring, even when I'm trying to sleep -- there, I think I made up for the last one.  

5) In grad school I lived and studied for one month with a Quichua family in the Amazonian rain forest, without electricity or running water, and I loved it.  

6) I have read all of Jane Austen's work, including her Juvenilia, and watched almost every film adaptation of her books ever made.  

7) I harbor secret fantasies of running away with Fitzwilliam Darcy.

I have found some amazing women since starting my blog.  This is just a few of them.  

The "I <3 This Blog Award":

1) Lisa B at the Pursuit of Prenancy.  I know she just sent me the Stylish Blogger award, but really I love reading her blog, and sharing news with her, and I can't see leaving her out of this list.  Lisa had some difficult news recently after a failed IVF cycle with an early loss, so please stop by her blog and share some love.

2) Elphaba (AKA "runny yolk") over at Yolk: A blog about eggs and sperm.  This lady is an amazing writer, and her sense of humor gets me laughing even on my most awful/painful days.

3)  AP at My Dusty Uterus.  Sadly, Ms. AP had some very sad news this week, so please stop by her blog and offer some love.

4) One Cycle at a Time, who I actually just saw nominated me for the same award :)  I guess brilliant minds think alike.

 The "Stylish Blogger" Award:


1) ADSchill at Miss Conception.  She has a great sense of humor as well as this amazing ability to very eloquently write down so many of my own thoughts in ways I have never been able to express them.    


2) Anasara at PCOS: Pretty Crappy Ovary Syndrome.  She always posts suck interesting links and info tidbits, and I just love the name of her blog :) 


3) Waiting and Wishing who just started an IVF round.  Stop by and wish her some luck and beautiful embies.  

Now to let the ladies know. 

New Blog Friday

New Blog Friday

Hi Everybody, just wanted to check in with some exciting news.  My blog has been chosen for this week's New Blog Friday over at The Infertility Overachievers! 

I just want to send a quick thank you to Aly for the honor, and a welcome to those of you who are reading my blog for the first time.  Also for the newcomers, feel free to take a look at my About Me page or my TTC timeline and blog history, both located on down the right column, to learn about my TTC journey.

Welcome! 

ICLW Welcome

Just wanted to send a quick hello and welcome to any bloggers out there discovering my site for the first time through ICLW.  If you are interested in learning more about me and my IF journey, you can check my "About Me" page or by taking a look at my side bar TTC time-line.  
Also, please feel free to tell me a little about yourself and your blog.  I am always looking out for new IFers to follow, and new friends to be made.

Our Journey, the short short version:
DH and I have been trying for baby #1 for a little over one year.  DH = healthy, me = PCOS and Hypothyroidism.  Pregnancies = 0.  :(
We are seeing an RE for the first time, and basically hoping for a miracle. 

So, it took me a bit to recover from all the craziness of the last 48 hours, but I'm relaxed now - visiting with the family back East - and ready to report...

First, the ultrasound.  It was entirely uneventful except to say that I was violated by one of the nastiest technicians I've ever encountered.  It was 5pm, probably I was her last patient of the day, but really a little softer touch around my lady parts would have been appreciated.  I think she left some bruising, and the findings were totally not worth it: one possible cyst on my right ovary (the pain was on the left - go figure) and when I asked about follicle size and whether it looked like ovulation might be nigh, she responded with, "you've got a couple of larger follicles in there."  Okay...anything else?  Nope, sorry, no information leaking from this techies' lips.  I will have to wait for the totally useless, non-informational report from the radiologist, which might reach me in 5-7 business days.  Well, that was a waste of time and money.

Now, the RE visit.  I hardly slept the night before.  I don't know why I was so nervous, or what I thought would happen when I got there, but I think I imagined it going something like this:
RE:  Thank you for providing me with all your medical reports...so organized.
Me:  Thanks, I try.
RE:  So, here is exactly what is wrong with you, and here's how we are going to get you pregnant.
Me:  Wow, let's get started!  How much will it cost?
RE:  Well, you are self-pay, so we'd like to offer you this huge discount.

What actually happened:
We arrived a bit early; my heart somewhere in my mouth and my fluttery stomach creeping up into my chest.  Finally, they called us in to meet the RE - a wizened, gray haired woman with the general appearance of a kindly hobbit grandmother.  She spent about 5 minutes asking us many of the same questions we had already answered in our 5 page long registration questionnaire, but we of course obliged her, answering them all while she slowly tapped our answers into her computer.  She then proceeded to tell us a little story about eggs and sperm, and how they meet and make a baby. 

Next:
RE: I'm going to assume that your eggs are probably healthy since your tests look good and you are only 29, and instead we are going to focus on problems of implantation.
ME: Okay (brain is thinking - but what about the PCOS and late ovulation?).
RE: Here are a list of tests I want to do, you can arrange them with the nurse and schedule an appointment with me in two weeks.

The End - DH and me, dismissed to a little room to wait for the nurse. Mind you, that short visit was $445.

Now the fun begins, the cost.  The nurse explains the tests and the cost and why they use this out-of-network facility over the in-network labs, etc.  She then leaves us to "discuss".  $3200 later, we left the office, with no answers, and no money. :(

Estimated cost for visit 2 - $1200 test + $250 followup with RE cost.  DH is thinking we may have to bail on treatment till after the move and new job - you know when he is traveling 80% of the time, and chances of getting pregnant plummet.  Then again, considering this has just been the cost for testing, how are we going to afford treatment right now?

The plan for tonight - get drunk with mom and save the thinking for tomorrow.

My Mischievous Ovaries

Tomorrow is our over-anticipated date with our first (and hopefully last) RE.  I'm so pumped.  I have all my medical records and ultrasound images together in a nice purple folder, along with DH's swimmers analysis, I've filled out the online paperwork, and we are so ready to go!

On a more mysterious note:
I have no idea what is going on with my ovaries (i.e. early ovulation - that would rock - or more cyst activity - much more likely).  I am going for an ultrasound this afternoon, and I'm going to beg the technician to give me some information (they generally don't like to reveal anything till the boss radiologist has looked over the results and that could take days).  I've been cramping and twitching and bloating and I just don't know what to make of  it all.

Seriously, why do my ovaries hate me?  Are they still angry about the whole 15 year suppression by BCP thing?  Perhaps they are miffed that I keep allowing docs to shove them around and poke them with sonogram wands.  Then again, maybe they are just naturally bad, and nothing I've done or could do will ever alter that evil plans for total reproductive self destruction.  The world may never know...

Stick it to me

As part of my - be healthy and happy in 2011 - promise to myself, I decided to start acupuncture.  It is a strange thing to be stuck with needles and told it will make you feel better - and stranger still when I actually do feel better. 

So far I have only gone for one session of becoming a human pincushion, and I was simply amazed by the level of emotions my mind and body circulated through in the course of that hour.  I teared up, felt pure bliss, pure sadness and more bliss, and then relaxed into a sluggish, cathartic state where each creak of the building or laugh of a person walking by in the street, echoed in my ears like pots being clanged in a kitchen.

I have no idea if any of this will actually do anything to increase my fertility or fix my PCOS and hypothyroidism, but I sure as hell and willing to give it my best try (2x a week for 4 weeks - to start - and then a chance for re-evaluation). I will keep you all posted as to the results. 

In other news, I'm so terribly excited about my first RE appointment on Thursday that I can hardly focus on anything else.  I keep telling myself that this could be the big chance that finally gets us to baby.  Maybe I'm putting too much faith in this one doctor, but I just can't help it.  I need to feel excitement and hope and so I am, dammit! 

Best TV Ad Ever

TV ad: ASB Bank: Chance


Found this on another IF blog and I just loved it...made me tear up a little.