An Egg-filled Story

 

Okay, I'm ready to report on our full egg retrieval story in all it's glory, and to send a little shout out to Foxy over at Someday, who is a couple of days ahead of me, and resting up after her perfect 3 day embryo transfer.

So, we started the morning super early with a 5am wake up call.  The goal was to not be rushed as we made our way out the clinic for our 7:20am appt.  I was surprisingly calm, especially considering I usually get nervous just going in for monitoring appointments, and I was oddly excited about the prosepct of being "put under".  I had been under conscious sedation once before, when my wisdom teeth were extracted, and I just remembered how odd it was to be awake one second and then out the next.

When we arrived (20 minutes early thanks to the lack of traffic), everyone was super nice as they escorted us through the special "procedure suite" and into our own private curtained off cubby -- one thing I love about this office is how not sterile-looking it is and how even our private cubby looked kinda like a tiny hotel room with a gurney instead of a bed. 

I changed into my breezy, backless hospital gown, the nurse came to check my vitals and give us some information, and just like that DH was whisked off to the "collection" room and me to the procedure room.  The anesthetist was very sweet, and she talked to me the whole time she was getting the drip set up.  I remember the nurse doing some uncomfortable poking downstairs, while the anesthetist searched for a good vein, and then I was asleep.  I woke up, already back in our cubby, with my husband looking cheerful to see me.  I wasn't in much pain, and my ovaries actually felt lighter and more comfortable which was a nice added bonus.

After some dry crackers, Tylenol, a lot of water, and three trips to the bathroom in less than 20 minutes (I swear my bladder has seriously not recovered from this experience), the doc came to see us and give us the numbers.  I was apparently, "a good producer" and they were able to get 18 eggs (big exhale), and DH's swimmers were given the thumbs up to go for "natural" fertilization as opposed to ICSI.

DH and I discussed our option to have some of the eggs fertilized with ICSI - seeing as how we have no evidence as yet that my eggs can be fertilized by his sperm - but the doc told us that 98% of couples in our situation will do just fine with natural fertilization, so we agreed to risk it. 

I've been feeling pretty good, despite the number of eggs they took out, drinking lots of water, and today I think I might even be able to skip the Tylenol.  Today, I am also far more nervous about the fertilization report than I was yesterday.  Yesterday, I felt happily detached from everything, and safe in my little cocoon of an apartment.  Today, I am anxious each time the phone chirps, and hoping they call sooner rather than later.

Most importantly now, I want to say thank you to everyone for your wonderful messages!  I can't tell you how much it means to me to receive them, and how grateful I am to have you ladies in my life as I go through this process.  You truly are my saving grace.

Love,
- K

Not Counting My Chickens Just Yet

Hey everyone,

I am still kinda hazy from this morning's retrieval, but I wanted to drop in a let you all know that I'm doing just fine and relaxing at home with my heating pad.  We got 18 eggs (no wonder my ovaries were so sore), which is super exciting, but we won't know the fertilization results till tomorrow.  I'm trying not to get too carried away by that number, but my doc seemed very optimistic that we would be getting more good news tomorrow. 

I'm super sleepy right now, and plan to take a nice, long nap, but I promise to give a better report later on.

-K

ICLW Welcome

If you are stopping by for the first time, welcome! I'm afraid that in the hubbub of the last few days, I completely lost track of the fact that ICLW was just around the corner.  I hope you guys can forgive me, and also forgive this very short welcome/introduction.

Please feel free to check out my About me and IVF Time-line pages for a quick summary of our story and the progress of our first IVF cycle.

Thanks and welcome once again!

- Kerri

A Whirlwind & a Trigger

 

After yet another sleepless night, and early morning monitoring appointment, I was surprised to find out that I will be triggering tonight for an early Tuesday morning retrieval!  That's right, the nurse called a couple of hours back to tell me to take my very last 225 ius of Follistim right away, as we are go for trigger at 9:50pm tonight, and are scheduled for retrieval at 7:50am, Tuesday morning and transfer either Friday or next Sunday. 

Oddly, I feel more scared and emotional than anything else.  I've already cried once, and I'm afraid I might do it again.  My mind is full of "what ifs", so much so that even my GO TO brain numbing device - the television - is having no effect. 

Here is the info I was able to get from the nurse:
Lining = 7.6mm
Left Ovary = 1 x 16mm, 1 x 14mm, 3 x 13mm, 2 x 12mm, 1 x 11mm & 10 small follicles
Right Ovary = 3 x 15mm, 5 x 13mm, 2 x 12mm, 2 x 11mm, and 10 small follicles

E2 = 2595,  LH = 1.5,  Progesterone = 2.1

Supposedly follicles measuring between 15 and 20mm (come on you 12s and 13s!), will tend to give mature eggs.  I know the doc is aiming to get the most he can with this last Follistim dosage and I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that everything gos perfectly and we wind up with lots of mature eggs to work with. 

I'm a little scared that my clinic doesn't really believe in administering pain meds.  They told me that they generally recommend Tylenol for any "discomfort", which made me want to cry (Tylenol does absolutely nothing for me even when I just have a headache).  Apparently, after the procedure I can request something stronger if I feel the need it - I'm already planning on it, seriously.  These are the same people who told me my mock embryo transfer and Hysteroscopy would just require only Advil and might cause minor cramping, and boy were they wrong!  I was miserable even on horse pill Ibuprofen AND Tylenol with codeine.

Seriously, what is so wrong with reducing the patient's pain and anxiety levels?  There is not baby yet, no cause to be controlling substances - the eggs aren't even in there anymore.  I have been a good girl -  taking my vitamins, eating good foods, avoiding coffee and alcohol like they're poison - can't I just have my two days of Vicodin induced comfort without having to beg and look like the druggie girl who can't handle a little pain?  Come on people, really, I mean which one of us will have just been repeatedly stabbed in the vagina with a needle!?!

Anyway, here's hoping for a low stress 36 hours - ha! - and some positive, wonderful, Vicodin-filled results come this Tuesday. 

Bloat Boat or Fertility Report #4

Hey everyone, hope you are all enjoying your weekends in your respective parts of the world! 

I wanted to thank you ladies so much for all the great comments, words of support and heartfelt advice that I have received from you all since starting this IVF cycle.  You are the most amazing group, and I'm pretty sure my ovaries have heard your cheering cause they've done some impressive follicle growing this week.

I've been thinking a lot more about the embryo transfer situation, and taking all your comments into consideration.  We still haven't decided - and really we can't till we know the health and numbers of our embryos - but I think DH and myself are both leaning towards a single embryo transfer if there are enough really good quality embryos that we can safely freeze a few for later transfer. 

Things here are going well, though I'm so bloated at the moment that I feel I'm stating to need a pretty wide berth around me just to maneuver through the house.  My ovaries are much more achey today, I have a nasty heat rash from all the night sweats, and my digestion feels like it has stopped altogether, but I'm overall cheerful and trying to remind myself that it is all for a good cause. 

This morning's appointment was a success, in that they've now moved my retrieval date up to Tuesday/Wednesday.  Unfortunately, they had just had me order more meds (which can't be returned), so that may be $550 down the drain depending on how things work out.  I have one more monitoring appointment tomorrow morning, and then we'll see when trigger is going to be, etc.

The Report:
        Lining = 7.3mm (woohoo!)
        Left Ovary = 1 x 13mm follicle, 1 x 12mm, 3 x 11mm, 3 x 10mm, & 7 small follicles
        Right Ovary = 1 x 14mm, 1 x 13mm, 3 x 12mm, 5 x 11mm, 1 x 10mm, 3 x 9mm, and 10 small
                                follicles (and the Right Ovary is the champion)
        E2 = 1153!!!,  LH = 1.2,  Progesterone = 1.7
        Meds: Reduced down to 150 ius of Follistim, no Low Dose HCG, 5 units Lupron, & Baby Aspirin

The nurse was a bit Debbie Downer, and reminded me not to get too "caught up in the numbers" cause some of these follies might not make it to or be mature enough by retrieval, and we won't get all the eggs, yadda-yadda, but I'm just gonna enjoy feeling a little hopeful for awhile thanks very much.  

Thursday Fertility Forecast: AKA Report #3

Happy St. Patty's to all those out there who celebrate it!  I, for one, will be having a dull evening, void of alcohol, while my hubby drinks himself into a stupor at some Downtown pub.  He invited me to come, but the thought of being the only sober lass in a pool of happy drunkards just doesn't put a smile on my face.  I think I'll stick to some ice cream, a movie and the couch.

I'm not sure if I should be happy about the way things are progressing or not.  My nurse seems to think everything is fine and dandy, and had this report this afternoon:

E2 = 484 (definite improvement there)
Lining = 5mm (up from 3.1 two days ago)
Left ovary = 1 x 10mm follicle, 3 x 9mm and 9 small follicles
Right Ovary - 2 x 10mm, 6 x 9mm, and 12 small follies
* So that's a total of 12 good sized follies thus far.  Maybe I'm being hard on my ovaries, but I was hoping for more.

The doc is increasing my meds again, and I actually had to order some more Follistim: 300 ius tonight and 225 for tomorrow
Increasing Low Dose HCG to 6 units
Lupron still 5 units
Continuing Baby Aspirin

Next appt. awful early Saturday morning (7:40am) hello, 5am wake up :(
They are speculating on egg retrieval for next Thursday/Friday, but it's still too early to really say.  I'm hoping Saturday's count will be so great that they will bump me up to Wednesday, but I suppose slow and steady isn't the worst thing in the world.  I know my doc is being super cautious with my ovaries, and I appreciate that, but I'm also an impatient, hormonal crazy person.

I will probably write more on this later (have to run to acupuncture at the moment), but DH and I are having an awful time trying to figure out how many embies we want to transfer (assuming we will have options).  We are thinking about opting for single embryo transfer - mainly due to the risk factors for twin pregnancies - if the quality is good, but the stress of having to make this decision is driving me slowly insane.  Thoughts? Comments?

Spring has Sprung, and other musings

Today is the first day we've had around here that might actually feel like spring.  The temp is expected to finally rise out of the frozen, windy doldrums of winter and into the 50's!  My goal is to experience this day like a rebirth, and the start of a "fertile" season for the world both inside and outside of my womb.

I'm feeling lots of twinges down below, and hoping this means we'll be seeing more action on the ultrasound tomorrow.  I've been listening to my Circle and Bloom meditations every day, sometimes twice a day, and really trying to envision my body as this perfect, fertile garden, just waiting for some magical seeds to be tossed in and take root.  I've also been sending constant positive thoughts down to my ovaries, and trying to imagine that each injection is like cool water begin poured over parched earth...sounds pretty hokey, I know, but the thoughts are nice and they give me more pleasant dreams at night.

I've come to realize that I need to think of my body as this rich, fertile, place - for my own happiness.  I need to believe in the power of my uterus to sustain a healthy pregnancy, and most of all, I need to replace every "barren" feeling with one of "fruitfulness".  I hate the words "barren" and "infertile", and I think it is pretty clear that our society hates them too.  What comes to mind when you think of those words - "wasteland", "desert", "dryness" and "dust", "famine" and "hunger"...whereas "fertile" brings us to "bountiful", "lush", "rich", "full", "life-giving".  Is it any wonder we infertiles are so self-hating and unhappy so much of the time?  Our very language has betrayed us.

Anyway, I'm off, off to enjoy this spring day - at least for the time takes me to get into the office (where I sadly have no windows).  I might take a detour or two, just to get a few extra breaths of fresh air into my lungs. :)

Happy, lush and fruitful thoughts to you all, and welcome to spring!